The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
