They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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