This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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