you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
