I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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