Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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