i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
