some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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