If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
where are you?
Hypothermia
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
