So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize