If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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