if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
