I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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