HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
