the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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