I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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