its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
