So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
