Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
is that a dick in a sweater?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
