He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
