Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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