ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
