he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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