Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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