im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
