White coat. Heels.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.