I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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