Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.