I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
