Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
