I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's official drugs can't kill me
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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