spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
