I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
