im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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