someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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