if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
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