so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
