you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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