In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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