We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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