is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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