It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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