Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
