Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
