Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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