I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize