I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize