Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
