just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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