He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
