a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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