did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize