just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
