he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
