I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
