There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
