dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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