where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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