so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
