i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think people are normalizing furries
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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