Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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