Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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